Dragon and gesturing woman
By Jonathon Earl Bowser

"And over there we'll have a patch of basil, parsley, chives and..."
"What, over there? No can do, I planted some of my giant killer jalapeños just in that spot."
"That's OK, we can have the herb patch over by the well instead, I suppose."
"Uh, I kinda ran out of space for the giant killer jalapeños and had to expand a little in that direction."
"Well... along the hedge, then?"
"Sorry, no."
"Giant killer jalapeños?"
"Mostly, yeah. Some of it. All, really."
"Maybe it'll save us some time if you just tell me which parts of the garden aren't presently allocated to growing giant killer jalapeños."
"Look, you've got the entire slope towards the toxic waste dump and the cursed bit that glows purple at full moon, so don't you come here accusing me of garden hogging."

Dragon and woman and row of stone dragons
By Clyde Caldwell

"Hi! Who are you? I'm a dragon! You can tell because I have these wings and stuff. Birds have wings too but they're not dragons. Is that a real spear? I saw a sword once. Do you think I talk too much? My family used to say I'd bore them stiff. Ha ha! They haven't said that in a while though. Do you like hamburgers? I like mangos."

Dragon and woman and dark swirly sky
By Linda Bergkvist

"I don't like these ominous sky vortices. First sight of an airliner engine and I'm out of here like a stung weasel."

Woman on three-jawed dragon
By Mike Ploog

"And now, the same roar but in Dolby Surround."

Dragon and masked woman
By Rob Carlos

"I'm sorry your 'The Mask of the Green Death' got rejected. Maybe you just need to work on the title?"

Dragon and woman and dreamcatcher
By Rob Carlos

"I must say I like you a little less since I found my cousin Albert strapped to your dreamcatcher."

Dragon and woman looking over her shoulder
By Rob Carlos

"Yeah, well, maybe I am a dope. But some day a three-headed monkey's really gonna walk right by, and you're not gonna turn your head when someone shouts at you to look behind you, and boy, will you ever feel stupid afterwards."

Dragon and woman on snowy cliff
By Rob Carlos

"That's funny, 'Those stupid lemmings can't reach us up on this tall cliff' were my aunt Hilda's last words exactly."

Annoyed dragon and smug princess
By Peter deSeve

"Dear, I'm positively certain there's some petty baron who'd be impressed by the size of your hoard, if only you propped it up a little. Of course, golden shields and pots are so passé these days - the talk's all about heaps of rubies and emeralds, you know. Not that I don't understand you don't get around much any more - invitations to the most fashionable parties been a bit scarce lately, haven't they? It's like I said to Queen Welma yesterday, 'Darling', I said..."

Agitated-looking dragon and woman
By Jim Burns

"Perhaps a good stomping will ease our troubled minds."

Dragon and tattooed woman
By Néné Thomas

"Oh, that's just great. So when were you planning to tell me that you have another dragon tattooed over half of your body?"

Dragon and woman in tilting boat
By Bob Eggleton

"I specifically remember telling you to bring the life-jackets."
"No, I told you, just before we left, to bring the life-jackets."

Smiling woman with bouquet and dragon
By Gyula Pozsgay

"Just think, some day I'll be able to show my grandchildren this photo with a real dragon in it!"
"Yeah, but they'll ask, 'What's that big yellow thing in the background then?'"

Girl with sword and dragon
By Christiaan A. Iken

"Hey, I think I just gained a level. Or maybe it's gas."

Dragon and woman with staff before gateway
By Andrea Stewart

"As you plod through the snow towards the opening in the wall, the two guardians of the Frost Gate - that's us - appear suddenly to block your way. If you have a purple melon in your inventory and would like to use it, turn to 126. If you would rather attempt to fight your way past, turn to 265. If you just stare stupidly and ask what the hell is going on, turn to 94."

Dragon and woman atop stack of huge books
By Fred Fields

"I took them back to the library once, but there they told me overdue charges were calculated by the pound. So I had to torch the place."

Dragon flying in thunderstorm with woman watching
By Britt Martin

"This is the last time I help you recharge your batteries. And now I mean it."

Woman and drugged-looking dragon
By Kornelia K.

"Ooh, those were some fine mushrooms, I can tell you. Look at all the colours. There's fire bunnies all the way to the horizon. Uh. Uhh. Man, I'm so stoned right now."