Sitting girl and dragon looking leftward
By Håkan Ackegård

"I don't see what the big deal is with this movie, it's just a black and white shot of some well or other... ah, at least now someone's coming up out of it."


Flying dragon and woman with flaming finger
By Håkan Ackegård

"Right, now that we've covered ignition, let's move on to targeting. For our first exercise, I'd like you to focus on that pavilion down there... Haha, no, just kidding, that would be silly. We dragons don't use buildings for target practice. Or people. No, honest."


Squinting woman and dragon
By Håkan Ackegård

"Thank you, kind sir - those people over there told me I need glasses, but I knew you were a gnome all along! You just gotta get the squintin' down proper, is all."


Dragon and woman in similarly coloured forest
By Alan Rabinowitz

"After years of epic questing, after uncountable struggles and disappointments we have finally found it - the legendary Forest of Matching Colours! Maybe now I won't have to listen to people saying my dress doesn't go with the tapestries."


Spearwoman on dragonback
By Hugh Jamieson

"Fuel... check. Wings... check. King's bishop to b5... check. Phone bill... cheque. Václav Havel... Czech."
"Zzz."


Girl and dragon and castle in background
By Cynthia Cummens

"Well obviously if we think we can't besiege a castle with two balls and a skipping-rope, we never will."


Musing dragon with tail around sleeping girl
By Cynthia Cummens

"Hmm... a good tailflick to send an infiltrator over the walls... it could work!"


Dragon leaning over girl lying on doorstep
By Cynthia Cummens

"OK, I'll aim a little higher next time."


Dragon with birds on head and woman
By Tommy Castillo

"You'll not laugh so frivolously... once my frightful avian cohort is complete! We shall then sweep this land as the cold mountain gale scatters the powdery snow! What? No, just musing to myself over here. Mwa. Mwaha!"


Towering dragon and cowering woman
By Tommy Castillo

"Yes. Yes, these are ancient ruins, and we will explore them. We will find gold pieces and spike traps in all these ruins, and we will call them... These Ruins."
"I think we should call them your grave!"
"Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"


Girl on dragon under beaming sun
By John Taylor

"Wait, this isn't sunscreen at all... it's grill sauce!"


Reclining fairy girl and dragon
By Jun Suemi

"A horrible thing you can do to a person is throw a couple of mad squirrels at them. They'll laugh as the little ones start nibbling at their ankles, trying to gnaw them off, but they won't be laughing a year later, when the squirrels are dead and really starting to stink up the place."


Dragon and black-winged angel
By Néné Thomas

"As a black angel you don't get as much cheering in the streets, chummy discounts and that sort of stuff. But once every year you get to whack someone you don't like and that counts for quite a bit."


Woman on fire-breathing dragon
By Håkan Ackegård

"Only you can prevent forest fires! So we're taking you out of the picture. Way to ruin a good forest fire for everyone else, man."


Warrior woman and dragon on pile of skulls
By Bill Bronson

"We also do birthday parties."


Woman with flaming sword and dragon
By Håkan Ackegård

"Always reward desirable conduct. For instance, if your dragon brings you a burning sword, a show of joy and affection will serve to reinforce the behaviour which resulted in praise. Of course, this is a good thing if you want more burning swords. If you never really pictured yourself as owning a dozen burning swords, or one for that matter, a better thing to do might be to say something like, 'You forgot the milk again, didn't you?' to which the dragon will reply, 'Are you kidding me? That's a frigging +2 hot sword of flamy burning!' and then you can have a jolly good argument."


Dancing woman getting crowded by dragon
By Maren

"That's it, I'm going to stab the choreographer after the show."


Woman with her back towards flat-looking dragon
By Ursula Vernon

"And then I noticed the audience was composed entirely of life-sized cardboard cutouts! You just can't trust anyone to have an attention span these days. Well, if they don't want lectures on the significance of turnip lore in contemporary glovemaking, they can live in ignorance for all I care. Are you even listening?"