Full name: Magnus Trismegistus Fransson Slut, thrice greatest.
Place of birth:

In Abraham's bosom in New Jerusalem, near the Elysian fields on the Island of the Blessed.

Gender: What do you mean? Have you never seen one of these before?
Current occupation: Sitting on my Father's right side, judging the living and the dead.
Mental status: Questionable.
Favorite CRD member: We are all equals. We are all parts of the global consciousness, reflecting different aspects of God.
Sexual preferences: What are you implying, sir? Do you think I look like a queer? I'm not gay. I have never been gay and I will never be gay. I'm strictly and utterly heterosexual.

Hobbies:

Not really, all that judging is more than a full-time job.
Likes: People that fear my Father and know their place in His creation.
Loves: The Inquisition and purifying sinful flesh with fire.
Worships: That homeless-looking, unemployed geezer over there with the long, filthy beard. Boy, I wish I could take it as easy as he does.
Dislikes: All you unbelievers, heretics and infidels out there! Have you even the faintest idea of what it's like to spend an eternity in the burning pits of Hell? It's quite painful, you know. It hurts. A lot.

Person(s) in urgent need of being hit hard with a baseball bat:

- I don't think so, I prefer lightning or scorching heavenly fire of apocalyptic proportions as means of punishment.

What would you bring to a deserted Iceland?

-Icecream for everybody.

How would you solve the growing problem with the ordinary citizen's lack of right to participate in the decision-making process in a modern democracy?

-I would give more power to the people by instigating a worldwide rebellion against the Capitalist oppressors that now control our lives.

How, where and why does the Universe exist?

-Miserably, everywhere and to make me believe that what I do matters.

If you had to choose, would you rather drink a bucket of diarrhoea from a person with a malfunctioning fat-metabolism or be eaten alive by drug-crazed fire ants?

-How big is the bucket?

Which hyped invention of the 20th century do you think will be the most laughed at in the 21st century?

-The cellular phone and the silly use of the abbreviation "IT" (information technology) to mystify perfectly ordinary things.

Why on earth would anyone be even the slightest interested in your ridiculous answers to these meaningless questions?

-People like spending time on foolish things, that's why they watch soaps. If they would concentrate on what really matters (global warming, the lack of distribution of wealth, pollution, violations of human rights et cetera), we wouldn't have anything to write songs about, but we would all live in a much better world. It's your choice.

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