Full name: Jocke Belphegor Satansson.
Place of birth:

The Abyss, Hell.

Gender: Satan has no gender. My gender you'll find out soon enough in ways you never thought were possible.
Current occupation: Freak, fakir, heaven butcher, vikarierande pastor pa frikyrkliga konfirmandlager.
Mental status: Psychotic, but in a nice, congenial way.
Favorite CRD member: Magnus Slut, the magnificent, the omnipotent, Annelie, CyberJonas and John Lindquister, the man without principles.
Sexual preferences: Anything involving pain, pets and penetration.
Hobbies: The usual cat-raping, dog-eating stuff you see in the movies.
Likes: Myself, friends, medieval torture.
Loves: Girlfriend, butcher's aprons with small, multicoloured flowers on the front.
Worships: Satan, of course, in all shapes and diguises and The Carpenters.
Dislikes: Myself, God, Christianity, humanity.

Person(s) in urgent need of being hit hard with a baseball bat:

-Priests, the Locomotive.

What would you bring to a deserted Iceland?

-An altar, a sacrificial dagger and some unsuspecting friends.

How would you solve the growing problem with the ordinary citizen's lack of right to participate in the decision-making process in a modern democracy?

-I would give more power to the people by instigating a worldwide rebellion against the Capitalist oppressors that now control our lives.

How, where and why does the Universe exist?

-When man invented God, man invented himself. We all live in a hoaxed pipedream.

If you had to choose, would you rather drink a bucket of diarrhoea from a person with a malfunctioning fat-metabolism or be eaten alive by drug-crazed fire ants?

-I like number two. It has a really kinky touch to it.

Which hyped invention of the 20th century do you think will be the most laughed at in the 21st century?

-Spice Girls.

Why on earth would anyone be even the slightest interested in your ridiculous answers to these meaningless questions?

-When I know, I'll tell you. Ave Satani.