THE DAY I MET THE CYCLE SLUTS FROM HELL...


Oh yeah... I certainly remember the day that I met the Cycle Sluts from Hell!

It was a cool but sunny day when I walked through the doors to the fancy Sheraton Hotel in Copenhagen. Back then they always had security-guards when bands were staying there, to keep the fans out. So, I was dressed like a total geek just to give a "professional" impression. After all, I was there as a reporter.

They were late. I waited and waited, and suddenly I heard this funny "jinglebell"-sound, like a cowbell or something. The next minute I see two, *ahem*, ladies appear in front of me. They looked like a mix between a garbage-can and a Christmas-tree. That's the best description I can come up with.

- Hi, I'm Daniela, I said when I approached them.

- Oh, hi! they replied, both with big smiles. The miss-es were Honey 7%-er och Venus Penis Crusher...

They weren't half as scary as they looked! They didn't want to do the interview at the hotel because they were hungry and wanted to go to MacDonald's.

- Do you know if there is a MacDonald's somewhere around here? they asked.

There was a MacDonald's close by, so I took my stuff, told them to follow me, and we walked out. I have to say that people were watching us as if they had never seen people before! But the girls didn't seem to notice that, or they just didn't care. They were very, very nice - in their own unconventional way..!

- I used to wait tables and serve beer in a bar, so this is the only thing I can do with my life. Unless I start working at MacDonald's! she laughed. She = Honey 7%-er. I remember they explained the background of their names, but I don't remember. I have it on tape somewhere though!

We talked like we had been friends for years, and finally came to MacDonald's. That's when I had to be an interpretor too..! They wanted to know what was in the hamburgers, because they had different names for the burgers in the States.

I saw how people were staring at them, from top to toe, then at me for interpreting in a very loud voice... The girls were so loud that I automatically spoke louder too. And although people in Copenhagen should be used to people who speak American, the whole combination Americans, garbage-can-look and rock'n'roll seemed very exotic to the poor Danes..! :-)

Anyway, I got my interview - stuck with my taperecorder in a pile of burgers, fries, sodas and shakes and two interviewees who spoke with their mouths full of food about everything from music to sex! They weren't particularly shy about the sex-part either I might add! And they weren't speaking quietly in ANY way..!! Miss Venus Penis Crusher was quite explicit..! Phew, that was an interesting experience..!

On our way back to the hotel Honey started asking me about MY job. She said that she always wanted to do what I did, and that she might consider doing that some day. The only problem was that she didn't like school, and she hadn't even finished college.

Well, I wasn't an "educated journalist" either when I got MY first job! I just got lucky! I don't know what happened to Cycle Sluts from Hell, if they are still around or if they went back to working in bars. But they sure left a lasting impression on ME! :-)

 

Daniela

 

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